2011年3月2日 星期三
Jeremy's unforgetable experience.
An annual competition was held in a school. Jeremy was one of the excellent athletes. When it was his turn, he stood by on the playground with his heart beating quickly. Then he started to run. He ran faster and faster and eventually came out on top. He beat all the other finalists and reached the fishing line! Unfortunately, as soon as he arrived at the terminus, a sudden breaking tumbled him down. His leg was broken and stabbed with his bone. He was sent to hospital right away. Being injured so seriously, one of his legs had to be amputated. For all that , he still wanted to be awarded in that racing competition. Out of his perseverance, he did rehabilitation every day. A month later, he came back to school to receive his golden medal which is the most glorious award in his life. His courage and willpower were respected by the other participants.
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張貼留言 (Atom)
第四行是finishing line不是魚線
回覆刪除XDDDDDDDDDDDDDD這是目前我看過最好笑的
教我怎麼把背景用成這樣!!!!!
回覆刪除要空兩格吧!
回覆刪除然後很棒欸!!!:">
倒數第四行in that racing competition可以改成in the race就可以了:D
回覆刪除His leg was broken and stabbed with his bone.
回覆刪除看著這行有種很痛的感覺~
讚喔~
fish line 真的還蠻好笑的~
跑步比賽不是race competition嗎?
回覆刪除我不太確定= =
回覆刪除但是不是gold medal啊~
SID的專輯新封面真好看XD
When it was his tern後面加in the race competition會不會比較好阿,如果先提到的話
回覆刪除A month later, he came back to school to receive his golden medal which is the most glorious award in his life.
回覆刪除改成he came back to school and received...比較好吧
很棒耶 !! =)
回覆刪除第一行的competition可以改成sports meet會更好喔
回覆刪除不然你也可以在competition前面加上是什麼性質的比賽
然後第三行的描述有點平凡
你可以寫說他跑的多麼努力
求勝心和榮譽心使得他如何脫穎而出:)