2011年3月14日 星期一
A pleasant day
It was such a pleasant day. Getting out of a disc store, I came into a fan who also liked the music of Japanese bands. Out of my excitement, I began to chat with her because I saw the same new album as what I just had bought. After chatting for several minutes, I found a coincidence that we had met before! The girl who called Cherry studied at the same elementary school as I did. No wonder she looked so familiar. I didn't recognize her until she gave me her name. After recognizing with each other, We found a place to take a rest and played the album we had just bought. How wonderful the atmosphere was! It was really pleasant to share the same feelings about our favorite bands.
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張貼留言 (Atom)
第一行getting out of a disc store逃避,戒除,由..出來
回覆刪除→ coming out of~ 從（某場所）出來,產生
I came into a fan 的come into進入,得來,繼承(財產)
come across 走過來,偶然碰到,出現於;【口】還(錢),還清
第二行Out of my excitement不知道型不型欸
是"出自於興奮"嗎?
我不知道result from 可不可以替換:|
你說的Japanese bands 是シド XDD
我也覺得come in 要改成come across
回覆刪除其他的我覺得寫的很棒，
尤其是這整件事情很吸引我繼續看下去．ˇ．
作者已經移除這則留言。
回覆刪除第一行I came into a fan who also liked the music of Japanese bands
回覆刪除came into?? 是come across吧
然後同一個字不要用太多次 可以換成同義詞
第五行的gave可以改成told
回覆刪除因為給名字有點怪怪的
好像是在給名片似的..
We found a place to take a rest and played the album we had just bought.
這句的後面 應該是 talked about the new album
然後.. "we had just bought" 盡量避免在文章出現兩次
節尾很突然xD
你可以說 很幸運可以在遇到國小的同學
然後你們後續的發展 例如開始保持聯絡 常常交流對偶像的感覺專輯的想法等等
I met a fan who also liked the music of Japanese bands.可能比較好喔!!!
回覆刪除We found a place to take a rest and played the album we had just bought.
感覺怪怪的~談論專輯內容比較符合現實~因為在外面比較難放cd!!!
感覺有興奮的感覺!!!
整篇文章寫的不錯，只是我覺得如果可以更多你與那位同學
回覆刪除之後更多的後續發展的話，會更加吸引人往下看，畢竟能夠
遇到一位與自己有十分相同興趣的人是一件很興奮的事
所以我覺得文章中間可以有更多興奮的表達，可以把自己的興奮之情表露於文章中的文字
我覺得文章的內容的題材選的很好，因為這的確會使人感覺到今天真是一件很美好的一天^^
Out of my excitement, I began to chat with her because I saw the same new album as what I just had bought.
回覆刪除Out of my excitement, I began to chat with her because I saw the same new album in her hands like what I just had bought.
The girl called Cherry studied at the same elementary school as I did; nevertheless, she had changed so much and looked really different from what she used to be.
came across/bumped into 遇上
回覆刪除came into 進入
I came across a fan who~
~rest and played the album which we had just bought.
作者已經移除這則留言。
回覆刪除I came into a fan who also liked the music of Japanese bands.
回覆刪除→嗯~好像怪怪的!!應改可以改成~
there are a person who also liked the music of Japanese bands.
嗯~為什麼你知道他叫Cherry之後又問他名字呢??
可以前後對調一下!!
結尾可以再多一點後續發展喔~
的確提到SID，會是很開心的一天喔~
But~字數不夠喲~