2011年4月27日 星期三

Comparing-1

A police officer needs to examine two women's driving licenses.  He finds that the two women are alike in several ways.  To begin with, both Stephanie Brooks and Ann Friedman are in the same department of Motor Vehicles.  The color of Stephanie's eyes are brown and the color of her hair is black.  The color of Ann's eyes and hair are similar to that of Stephanie's.  Moreover, Stephanie was born on July  31th in 1970s, and so did Ann.  What makes the police officer feel surprised is that they also alike in their height!  The police haven't met such a coincidence before so it impresses him very much.
張貼者： 於

8 則留言:

  1. XUAN (13)2011年5月4日 晚上11:08

    The color of Stephanie's eyes are brown and the color of her hair is black.
    這句的前面如果再加上連接詞會更好 像是besides之類的

    然後好像沒什麼可以講的xD

    回覆刪除
  2. 珍儀2011年5月4日 晚上11:12

    The color of Stephanie's eyes are brown and the color of her hair is black.
    主詞是the color所以用單數is

    Moreover, Stephanie was born on July 31th in 1970s, and so did Ann.
    so did-->so was錯一樣的唷~笨co

    What makes the police officer feel surprised is that they also alike in their height!
    哇~好驚訝的警察
    警察也有感想~竟然連這個都寫了

    回覆刪除
  3. 玲儀2011年5月4日 晚上11:40

    The color of Stephanie's eyes are brown and the color of her hair is black.
    這邊可以家一下連接詞
    還有同上喔 !!

    差不多這樣 ~

    回覆刪除
  4. 靖苡2011年5月6日 清晨6:10

    要空格唷

    The color of Ann's eyes and hair are similar to that of Stephanie's.
    有眼睛和頭髮兩項相同是不是要把that改成those呢?

    倒數三 →so was Ann.

    倒數二 →height(不知道可不可數欸)

    →最後The police 〝hasn't〞 met such a coincidence before〝,〞 so it impresses him very much.


    文章的構思我喜歡，有高潮迭起呢! 呵呵

    回覆刪除
  5. 惠芳2011年5月6日 清晨6:22

    The color of Stephanie's eyes are brown and the color of her hair is black. The color of Ann's eyes and hair are similar to that of Stephanie's.這句好像太長了~
    可以用別的句式寫的會更簡潔!
    開頭有可以多加上為什麼警察要檢查~

    故事很有趣呢~
    有點像美國警局中發生的趣事=)
    讓人真的覺得警察覺得這件事很有趣XD

    回覆刪除
  6. 椿茱2011年5月6日 清晨6:38

    The color of Stephanie's eyes are brown
    //are -> is

    and so did Ann// and so was Ann

    最後一行 before前面要不要加逗號阿?

    其他都OK喽:D

    回覆刪除
  7. 曉芸2011年5月6日 清晨6:53

    A police officer needs to examine two women's driving licenses.=>面可以加上為什麼的原因像是~because both of them run through the red light in the same time~之類的coincidence來增加他們的巧合性和開頭的豐富度
    不過整體來說是一個很可愛的故事喔~~=ˇ=

    回覆刪除
  8. 爾雅2011年5月6日 晚上10:52

    第三行 The color of Stephanie's eyes are brown and the color of her hair is black.
    應該是is brown吧 不是只有一種顏色嘛...
    後面可以改成 and her hair is black就好了 不然the color of 這幾個字會重複~

    回覆刪除

訂閱： 張貼留言 (Atom)