2011年6月4日 星期六
Discussing Cause-2
Michael Williams opened a small music store selling compact discs. After four months, the shop was out of business. You may confused about why the store was closed. There are several reasons below. To begin with, due to the store's unpopular location being on a small side street, the store appealed to few people. Secondly, Mr.williams spent too much money buying CDs, and most of the CDs were hip-hop and rock. The sorts of CDs were so few that it couldn't catch middle-aged people's eye. Moreover, he paid the sales clerks too much money per hour. Consequently, he was unable to make both ends meet. Furthermore, the business hours were so short that people couln't buy CDs in another time. He should have opened the store at least for 6 hours from 6 o' clock PM to 12 o' clock AM every day, including weekend. It was because that most of people walked past the store at that time. In addition, Mr.Williams wouln't accept checks or credit cards, Thus, it wasn't convenient for customors to pay the CDs. Due to all of these reasons, one must conclude that the shop would be closed.
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很順暢有條理喔:>>>>
回覆刪除開頭有點突然@@..
回覆刪除it couldn't catch middle-aged people's eye
可以不用侷限在這個年齡層唷~其實也有很強勢的小孩搶著要買xD
大致上都OK喔~
people's eye(s)
回覆刪除要加s喔~
Due to all of these reasons, one must conclude that the shop would be closed.
結尾有點太直接了~
可以說把以上條件修正後~
他一定能成功的開店=)
其他部分都很不錯喔><
people's eyes
回覆刪除沒什麼大問題唷~~ 蠻順暢的˙ˇ˙
To begin with, due to the store's unpopular location being on a small side street, the store appealed to few people.(unpopular改成remote會更恰當喔=))
回覆刪除Consequently, he was unable to "make both ends meet"這句用的很好喔^0^
沒啥錯誤耶~~
回覆刪除句子還蠻流暢的
make both ends meet這個用得很好耶!!
回覆刪除It was because that most of people walked past the store at that time.
-->that不用
順唷~但結尾好直接的說他的店應該關~
很順阿XD 沒神麼錯喽!
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