2011年6月1日 星期三
Discussing Cause-1
I would like to move to another country, especially Japan. There are several reasons below. Firstly, I 'm interested in Japanese kimonos,which have a lot of styles, appeal to me. Therefore, I would like to move to Japan to learn Japanese culture. Secondly, I'd like to go to my favorite rock bands' concerts. It will be convenient for me to go to their concerts if I move to Japan. So I don't have to buy expensive airplane tickets. Thirdly, I also have an interest in learning Japanese. In order to master Japanese and get used to their accent as soon as possible, I think moving there is the best choice. As a result, the fatest way to learn a language is to live there. Furthermore, people in Japan are patient and have high living quality, which cause me want to move there. Due to all of these reasons, one must conclude that moving to Japan is really fascinating for me.
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張貼留言 (Atom)
appeal to me -> appealing to me
回覆刪除和服跟學習日本文化好像不是很直接的關係欸?!
倒數第二 which cause me want to move there
which appeals me to move there
這個題目你應該寫得很開心吧XDD 真能如你所願就太棒了!!
So I don't have to buy expensive airplane tickets.
回覆刪除這句的連接詞有點怪怪的
很順暢喔
!!!!!!!
開頭還是很突然耶
回覆刪除appeal to me >> appealing to me
Firstly, I 'm interested in Japanese kimonos,which have a lot of styles, appeal to me. Therefore, I would like to move to Japan to learn Japanese culture
回覆刪除這兩句可以改變一下位子~
Firstly, I 'm interested in Japanese culture such as kimonos,which have a lot of styles, appeal to me. 類似這樣=)
其他部分很不錯喔><
整篇感覺非常非常雀躍xD
回覆刪除沒有什麼大問題~~
但是看完會覺得一直看到類似的字一直出現唷~
Firstly, I 'm interested in Japanese kimonos,which have a lot of styles, appeal to me.(appeal-appealing)
回覆刪除It will be convenient for me to go to (their concerts )可以不用再重覆一次喔~
I think moving there is the best choice(moing改成living更恰當喔=))
move感覺出現了很多次~有點小膩><
全部論點都贊同>//<
我也好想去喔~哈哈~
和服有很多樣式 下一句接"我想學習日本文化"
回覆刪除這....好像有點接不太起來
倒數第四行 連接詞用 As a result 也怪怪的
換成別的比較好 ex: it goes without saying that....
其他的句子還蠻流暢的
第一句開頭有點突然
回覆刪除which have a lot of styles, appeal to me.
-->which have a lot of styles,and appeal to me.
前面i would like用了好多次 這篇很簡潔~
然後~~~又是日本
快搬去吧~~輻射生魚片