2011年5月18日 星期三

Comparing-3 (two people I know)

  Since junior high, I have been interested in listening to visual bands' music.  Out of my passion, I decide to introduce two excellent bassists from two popular bands in Japan.  One is Aki and the other is Iv.  To begin with, both them play in visual bands and become famous super idols in Japan.  They are popular with teenagers.  Secondly, Aki is as talented as Iv, they devote themselves to creating music on their own for their bands.  As long as they have inspiration, they write on their scores.  That's why they create a lot of touching melody which always appeals to public.  Thirdly, Aki and Iv are alike in the same habits.  Aki is used to going to Fitness Center for developing his muscles.  Similarly, Iv is used to going to Fitness Center for keeping himself in keeping in a good shape.  Moreover, Aki is as humorous as Iv.  Both them are interesting while they are in talk shows.  Their behaviors always catch others' attention.  To sum up, they are alike in many ways especially speaking to music.
張貼者： 於

7 則留言:

  1. 曉芸2011年5月18日 晚上11:41

    Similarly, Iv is used to going to Fitness Center for keeping himself in keeping in a good shape.=>~in keeping himself in a good shape.
    Moreover, Aki is as humorous as Iv. Both them are interesting while they are in talk shows. Their behaviors always catch others' attention. To sum up, they are alike in many ways especially speaking to music.=>後面可以加個~so之類的作更完整的結尾喔~
    整篇寫的很好喔~看的出你對視覺係樂團的熱愛喔=ˇ=

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  2. 靖苡2011年5月22日 凌晨1:19

    Secondly, Aki is as talented as Iv, they devote themselves to creating music on their own for their bands. 連接詞?

    → Similarly, Iv is used to going to Fitness Center for keeping himself in (keeping in)a good shape.

    倒數三：Both (of) them 或是They both

    不知道最後一句文法是否有錯，不過很喜歡最後一句：）


    整篇熱情洋溢，很生動XD

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  3. 惠芳2011年5月25日 清晨5:12

    Since junior high, I have been interested in listening to visual bands' music.
    這句的music可改成songs~
    因為是有歌詞的=)

    Similarly, Iv is used to going to Fitness Center for keeping himself in( keeping in) a good shape.
    這句好像多打了!!!

    十分通順而且有趣=)
    有抓住讀者的視線喔><

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  4. 椿茱2011年5月25日 晚上10:43

    they devote themselves to creating music on their own for their bands
    creating music--> composing

    which always appeals to public
    --> to the public

    Iv is used to going to Fitness Center for keeping himself in keeping in a good shape.
    --> Iv is used to going to Fitness Center for keeping himself in a good shape.

    especially speaking to music
    -->especially when it comes to music\
    when it comes = speak of = talk of

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  5. 爾雅2011年5月25日 晚上10:47

    第三 四行 To begin with, both them play in visual bands and become famous super idols in Japan. They are popular with teenagers.
    這2句中間可以用連接詞接起來

    倒數第四行 Iv is used to going to Fitness Center for keeping himself in keeping in a good shape.
    in keeping 是多打的XDDD

    其他的語句還滿通順的~~

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  6. XUAN (13)2011年5月25日 晚上11:09

    Iv is used to going to Fitness Center for keeping himself in keeping in a good shape.
    這句出現了兩次keeping很奇怪 你可以把其中一個改成shaping
    然後good shape 改成 good condition

    其他都很流暢~不錯喔

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  7. 珍儀2011年5月27日 晚上8:48

    終於要看這篇令人害怕的文章了...
    To begin with, both them ~
    -->To begin with, both of them~

    Secondly, Aki is as talented as Iv, they devote themselves to creating music on their own for their bands.
    ->沒有連接詞

    That's why they create a lot of touching melody which always appeals to public.
    -->the public

    Similarly, Iv is used to going to Fitness Center for keeping himself in keeping in a good shape.
    -->Similarly, Iv is used to going to Fitness Center for keeping himself in a good shape.

    especially speaking to music. 這裡感覺怪怪的唷

    耶~快速的看完了~然後幸好我不知道另一個人是誰...
    提到偶像都寫得特別好

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