2011年5月29日 星期日
Expressing an opinion-2
I am on the same page as those who oppose the death penalty. Firstly, using the death penalty can frighten people to commit crimes. It can rid society of menaces. In contrast, if the convict is released from the prison, they may do harm to society again. Secondly, it protect humans beings from danger. Only executing death penalty can console people's heart. Thirdly,using the death penalty makes criminals pay the ultimate price. In this way, it's fair to those victims' family. Because of these facts, it is self-evident that using the death penalty is the best way to deter people from committing crimes.
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Firstly, using the death penalty can frighten people to commit crimes.
回覆刪除這句話的語意怪怪的
使用死刑可以嚇人們去犯法?!
應該是
Firstly, using the death penalty can frighten people lest they should commit crimes.
human beings=humans 看你要用哪個囉
還有protect前面最好加個can~
然後內容有點少@@~~
第四行 humans beings
回覆刪除human不用s
這篇文章還ok~
>> human beings
回覆刪除有點短不過整體通順~
Firstly, using the death penalty can frighten people to commit crimes.
回覆刪除這句讀起來很像是要叫人去犯罪耶!
Firstly, using the death penalty can restrain people from committing crimes.
In contrast, if the convict is released from the prison, they may do harm to society again.
>>>前聚是單數後遽怎麼變複數??
In this way, it's fair to those victims' family.
>>>可以改成In this case, it's fair to those victims' family.
大致上良好
文章可以在長點:>>>>
if the convict is released from the prison, they may do harm to society again.
回覆刪除前方得部分是單數~
後面統一比較好=)
內容的部分可以加上一些補充或例證等~
會更豐富喔~~~
其他的十分通順=)
Firstly, using the death penalty can frighten people to commit crimes.
回覆刪除-->Firstly, using the death penalty can frighten people who intent to commit crimes.
這篇短的很偷懶唷
太明顯了~多補些內容吧
文章長度有點太短了喔~
回覆刪除應該是寫的有點趕吧~呵呵~
一樣也是論點後面要加加上一些你自己衍伸出來的內容喔><
Firstly, using the death penalty can frighten people to commit crimes.
回覆刪除//Firstly, using the death penalty can deter people from committing crimes.
倒數3 pay the ultimate price
// price -> expense
多加點論述吧 這樣少了份說服力呢!!!